Every man knows the wedding day belongs to the bride. But many are often unaware that their disinterest in planning may be mistaken for cold feet. Here’s how to grab his attention and remind him that it is just as much a celebration of his future happiness as it is of yours.
1. Narrow down the playing field.
During her 19 years of creating wedding invitations, Paulette Ripps, of Write Impressions, has noticed that most men would rather be watching sports or fishing than sifting through countless papers and invite styles. “It helps for the bride to narrow it down to two or three favorite options for him to choose from; this will prevent the selection from becoming a lengthy process, ” Ripps says.
2. Feed him well.
Your fiancé is likely to enjoy food and wine tastings more than picking out flower arrangements or table linens. Many catering consultations feature mini bites from their prospective menu for your big day. Naman’s Catering includes a complimentary tasting of hors d’oeuvres and the opportunity to take samples home for family members. Alec Naman also shares his advice to brides during their planning process. “If the mother of the bride makes the groom feel comfortable, he is more likely to participate.”
3. Let him win the cake battle.
If nothing else, his opinion should dictate the choice of the groom’s cake. Many couples stray from the old-fashioned chocolate icing with strawberries, especially if it’s served at the rehearsal dinner. “The groom’s cake is a great way to express his personality or incorporate a sports team, hobby or theme related to the couple’s courtship, ” says Sherri Pickett, of Flour Girls Bakery.
4. Give him an online mission.
Is your guy a gifted techie? Personalized wedding websites and blogs are a growing trend. An interactive online experience can provide engagement announcements, photos, instant RSVPs and local guides for guests. If he’s computer savvy, let him take charge of this task himself or have the final say on which professional to use. “Hiring a freelance designer gives the couple an opportunity for more customization tailored to their unique needs, ” says Sam Green, of Ginkgo Designs in Gulf Shores.
5. Go along with what suits his style.
In his 41 years outfitting grooms, Jimmy Francia has learned that the guys often become interested in their wedding day attire once they actually try on a few different options in the store. “Our breathable tan suits have been quite popular recently as grooms look for comfort during outdoor ceremonies in Mobile’s humid climate, ” Francia says. Other variations to the standard black tuxedo may include vests, personalized cufflinks or a classy modern Windsor tie. Just make sure that you consider what the bridesmaids are wearing alongside them so that the two styles don’t clash. Another growing trend: Allow him to choose unique, unexpected shoes, such as Converse sneakers, flip-flops or TOMS with argyle socks, above, for himself and his entourage.
6. Hand over the honeymoon.
First off: The honeymoon planning, booking and payment are traditionally the groom’s responsibility. A local travel agency will help him choose an ideal destination while easing the strain of vacation planning in the midst of wedding preparations. “With an agent, he can also plan ahead for things like a romantic, candlelit dinner on the beach, rose petals and champagne in the room upon arrival or even a couple’s massage, ” says Maggie Hudson, of Springdale Travel.