Mobilians have long been sticklers for etiquette. With roots that run deep, and plenty of grande dames and dapper gentlemen in the Bay area’s storied past, it’s no wonder today’s residents still hear their deceased grandmother’s voice in their head when matters of social decorum arise.
“Napkin in your lap, but don’t wipe your lipstick on her
hem-stitched linens!”
“Be sure to write Mrs. Smith a prompt thank-you note.”
“Bring a hostess gift to the dinner party!”
“Never wear white after Labor Day.”
The final piece of advice is an old tradition that many still follow, some eschew and few know where it even came from. It turns out, like many of our rules of decorum and table manners, it is believed to have come from the elegant ladies of the Gilded Age. Hard as it may be to believe the way we dress today is still influenced by wealthy housewives from more than 150 years ago, let’s go back to smoggy New York City of the Victorian era and see.
At the time, railroad tycoons and Wall Street impresarios had amassed exorbitant fortunes, and the country hung on their every whim. The nation copied their architecture, their decor, their way of dressing and setting a table. The length of a sleeve could make or break a lady in society, not to mention her use of the proper pickle fork! People everywhere were watching.
During the summer months, those of means could escape the heat of the city, decamping for their summer homes in seaside enclaves like Newport, Rhode Island or the Hamptons. There they sailed, played lawn games and generally made up more new and intricate rules of society to help separate the “haves” from the “just-acquireds.” During these seaside activities, the dress of choice was always white. It was cool and usually made of lightweight, breathable fabrics, practical in the summer sun. White clothing also showed that one didn’t actually work or do anything to spoil one’s clothing. Tennis was all the rage at the time, as well, and white was the de rigueur color of the sport. The elite embraced white wardrobes in summer for all these practical and snobbish reasons. Add a straw hat and you were set.
Once these Gilded Age families returned to New York City after the Labor Day holiday — which signaled the end of the summer season — they all packed their white clothing away. The soot from burning coal in the city would ruin a dress in no time, not to mention the perils of all that horse manure. Black was the predominant color of urban life for obvious reasons. Whether we realize it or not, we have been following an age-old tradition by returning to city life on the first Monday of September and packing away our summer whites ever since.
Diana Parker is just one of the many Mobilians who had these rules ingrained from an early age. Her mother, Jane Burke Balch, was a woman who abided by the rule that you got dressed (and I mean dressed, makeup and all) every day. “I was taught that wearing white dresses — pants were not worn as much then — after Labor Day was just ‘not proper.’ Actually, shorts were only summer attire, too. But especially white shoes were a huge fashion faux pas if worn outside the summer months.” Mrs. Balch was born and raised on Government Street and moved to Springhill after marrying, back when the village was outside the city limits. She instilled these rules in her children along with proper etiquette and table manners. “I still can’t break the Labor Day boundary, as I hear my mother’s voice in disapproval. She conditioned me to not even like the look! As a matter of fact, my white purse still goes back in the closet after Labor Day!”
With the white dresses being packed away under beds and at the back of closets goes seersucker, white shoes, lighter shades of linen and even most straw hats. Mobile historian Tom McGehee reminds gentlemen who complain about the continuing heat in September (and often October!) that “there are ample lightweight fabrics like poplin that can be worn on hot days after Labor Day and before Memorial Day.” But do these, some would argue old fashioned, rules still have any relevance in a modern society?
Local style maven Liz Damrich, whose influence reaches far beyond the borders of our coastal communities, says no. “I don’t like rules for dressing and prefer to push the envelope. I’ve always felt there is nothing quite as chic as an all-white outfit in summer or winter, not to mention, it’s easy to pile on whites while running out the door!” Damrich says she particularly loves an elegant, long white coat in winter, and in fall, she adds camel and other earthy colors to ground her whites a bit more. “White lifts us up and provides a bit of brightness that is always welcome!”
Even if you are not pushing the fashion envelope like Damrich, there are a few exceptions to the traditional rule, of course. White can continue to be worn in resort communities and extremely warm climates long after Labor Day. But those boundaries are murky at best and we will leave it up to personal discretion to decide when it’s appropriate.
For most in the Bay area, the clock is ticking. You have 30 days and counting to take that white linen dress out for a dinner on the town. Seersucker, be warned as well: a box of mothballs is in your immediate future!
